Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The racism of Indiana Jones

The racist as an action hero

White Americans will watch another "Indiana Jones" film tomorrow which follows the exploits of a celebrated grave-robber and destroyer of indigenous cultures. These films consistency portray people of colour in an insensitive fashion and are filled with historical inaccuracies. The white man stole knowledge from Africa and destroyed the great library at Alexandria to hide his crimes. Now he makes films celebrating this kind of thievery.


Tim Bob said...

I can just hear the new visitors to this blog (unaware of the comical nature of your posts) saying to themselves, "Wait a minute! The movie isn't even out in the world does he know whether it's racist? He's writing about stuff he has NO CLUE ABOUT!"

And then they repeat to themselves, "He's writing about stuff he has NO CLUE ABOUT!"

And suddenly the lightbulb comes on for them, and they get the joke!

By the way, if all goes well, I'm going to a screening of it tonight. When I get back I'll let you know how racist it was!

Thanks for the chuckles, Red!

Tim Bob said...

You did it again, Red, and I don't know HOW you did it, but you did. Without even seeing it, you managed to select a movie (of all the movies produced every year) that has absolutely NO racist content at all, which - of course - makes your post a brilliant piece of satire.

Tell the truth, now, how did you KNOW that this would be a movie with no racist content? Did you talk to Lucas or Spielberg to find out? Maybe your buddy Barack told you?

Anyway, I won't say anything to spoil the movie, because I know you're planning to go see it tomorrow night with the wife and kids.

Anonymous said...

Just saw it and yes, it was full of bullshit- faceless indigenous people grunting. I really wish some of the leader of our nation (entertainment execs and filmakers- seriously) would have some sort of accountability for the racist lies they subject our children to.

Tim Bob said...

Hey Red, instead of posting anonymous comments back to yourself, it would be even funnier if you used this opportunity to start creating online identities for your "students", and have THEM post comments!

I think at least one of your "students" should function as the "straight man" - in other words, someone who has "believable" opinions, so when he posts, people won't think "This guy's gotta be kidding!"

Then, when you (or one of the other "students") replies with a real zinger, it'll catch people totally off guard.

Here's an example:

Straight Man: I'm not sure the movie industry is as racist as you say it is, Red. After all, if it WAS as racist as you claim, would they keep giving big roles to an actor like Will Smith?

Humorous retort: No way! Don't you get it? Will Smith is being controlled by a Sith Lord's vulcan mind-meld! That's why they let him act!

You see how funny something like that could be? :)

And like old iron said, if you use any of my ideas, I'd like to have credit - but don't worry, you don't need to pay me anything.

Anonymous said...

"Just saw it and yes, it was full of bullshit- faceless indigenous people grunting."

Oh, you must be talking about that two minute scene where the indigenous people were valiantly trying to protect their land from white intruders. I suppose you're right - it would have been far better if, instead of speaking in their own language, they spoke English so we could ALL understand what they were saying.

Nice try.

To a man with a hammer, everything is a nail.

Anonymous said...

"Oh, you must be talking about that two minute scene"

No, that's not all there is. There's also the creepy people living in the cemetery, who are obviously intended to be representative of the entire South American culture.

Plus there's the manikins in the bomb-town, which are supposed to represent the fact that all cultures are "puppets" to the great white masters. Of course, they made the manikins WHITE, but that was just to keep the symbolism more subtle.

And don't forget the fact that they named one of their heroes "MUTT", which is the filmmakers' coded way of saying that even a white DOG is better than a black MAN.

And even if you don't buy any of that, don't forget that they named the main character INDIANA, and if you check your census statistics, you'll find that INDIANA is well under the national average for black population. CLEARLY racist.

Anonymous said...

How can anyone say this movie ISN'T racist? I mean, did you even notice how, when they were trying to sneak around in the dark, they didn't even blacken their faces?

I mean, seriously, how racist is that?

Anonymous said...

Don't forget that the movie included MONKEYS, which is a clear and blatant racial stereotype - the WHITE MAN has always used MONKEYS to symbolize the BLACK MAN.

The use of MONKEYS swinging from vines in this movie is in astonishingly bad taste!

Tim Bob said...

Ha ha! Okay, you guys got me - it really is a racist movie. I've got one more for you...I can't believe no one mentioned this.

Did you notice they used RED ants? That's clearly a slur against native americans!

By the way, Red, I noticed your Atlantis thread over at I hope you didn't feel offended that no one replied to it. You see, they probably didn't realize it was a joke, so I'll bet they all thought: "WOW! I can't believe someone is so completely ignorant and stupid that he thinks this movie is about ATLANTIS!"

The joke's on them, of course, because we all know that you aren't actually that stupid, you're just having a bit of fun!

So did you and the family enjoy the movie?

Anonymous said...

tim bob, you got a link to that thread

Anonymous said...

seriously you dumb-asses. it's just a movie

Anonymous said...

if that's satire you really need to work on it

philip said...

"seriously you dumb-asses. it's just a movie"

Ha! you got another one, guys!

Old Iron said...

Sorry about the delay on the posting here Red, but as Tim Bob said you have returned to form. the post was a little short though, as I am more familiar with your more extensive works and lengthy setups, but all hail your comedic return!

-And to add to the noting of racist elements; did you notice that his bag and whip are made of BROWN leather? I see that as a potential slight to all Indians and Pakistanis everywhere. Who knows, that might not be leather but ACTUAL INDIAN SKIN THAT HAS BEEN TANNED.

Local Illuminati Representative said...

Egads, he has discovered us and our burning of the Library at Alexandria! Or secret society is no more!!!!

Anonymous said...

just wondering which of the four movies you liked best?

Tim Bob said...

Yeah, Red, I think I speak for all of us when I say, we'd all really like to know how you enjoyed this one compared to the other Indiana Jones movies. Did you like it most? Least? Did you prefer "Raiders of the Lost Ark"? "Temple of Doom"?

Anonymous said...


TANNED? Wait, isn't that a racial slur?

If it's not, I think it SHOULD be. Let's start a petition or something! :)

Anonymous said...

Who is Red?

BTW, greatest blog ever!

Anonymous said...

I think Red must be the author of the blog. Funny - I don't think he ever actually says anywhere what his name is. You'd think that someone who wants people to think he's a professor of some sort would be eager to present his name and credentials.

I guess that's part of the joke.

But you're right...this blog is stinking awesome! One of the funniest reads around.

The comments crack me up!

Anonymous said...

is he ever gonna finish this? i come back every day to see if hes written his movie review yet.

Anonymous said...

Even as a joker, you're an idiot.

Bobo the Circus Bear said...

The last post kids!

Keep it up Red.

Tim Bob said...

"Barack's My Nigga"? Really, Red, that's just too funny! When you post stuff like that on your blog, it just makes my side hurt from laughing so much.

I have mixed feelings on the Indiana Jones review - I really want Red to write a hilarious, tongue in cheek review of Indiana Jones, filled with all sorts of made up "racist" stuff (and kudos to you, Red, for using the "INDIANA" joke as a basis for a thread over at imdb)

On the other hand, I actually am curious to know what Red REALLY thinks of the movie.

Either way, I hope you post your review soon, before we all forget the movie!

Anonymous said...

You are only attempting to get traffic to your blog site with the comments you make. It's entertainment, try and write a screenplay, make your own movie. You are a victim in your own mind. Your narcissism is extreme, seek help and do the right thing!

Anonymous said...

I forgot to say, Go Obama 2008! again seek help for your narcissism.

walt235 said...

Niggers are truly proof that God has a sense of humor! We need to bring back slavery! Instant ghetto, just add niggers!

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen the new movie yet, but I did just catch the original on TV. In my memory, it was such a fun movie. All these years later, I see people of color in "native" garb, made to look, act, and sound indistinguishable from each other, an everyone-looks-the-same backdrop upon which the white guy can save the day... Colonialist inside jokes didn't make up for it. That scene with the tall man showing off his sword (I'm sure there's a proper name for that weapon but I don't know it) skills only to be shot to "comic effect" no less, is a sad commentary on the history of warfare, really; how it shifted from adversaries, who practiced (in the psiritual sense too) a martial ART, meeting other warriors they respected in hand-to-hand combat, to the far less honorable practice of killing expediently at a distance; the point of this scene being to show how the "barbarians" don't have a chance against "superior" Western ingenuity... SEEING all that on TV made me realize even more how our culture has dehumanized a huge portion of our fellow human beings, and I am sad for it. --Anonymous blonde middle aged white lady

Anonymous said...

You complain that people call you Professor Red, but you have brought this on yourself. You have not told us your real name, and the only name you give us is one which people of integrity could never call you.

Take, for example, the issue (which has been mentioned many times) of that post in which you took a 300 year-old painting of Jesus and posted it, claiming it was 2,000 years old. Now, it was a pointless lie, since it proved nothing, but several of your readers found the SOURCE site where you got the picture, and thereby discovered your lie.

Since then, you have been asked why YOU who call yourself "TRUTH FIRST" would tell a lie like that, and you have repeatedly ignored the question. You do not apologize for your deception, you do not even say "I made a mistake."

In other words, you have made it impossible for any thinking person to ever call you anything involving the word TRUTH. Similarly, you can not be called a TEACHER, for teachers deal in truth.

If you will not tell us your real name, and we are too honest to call you by such deceitful names as "Truth First" and "Teacher", what choice do we have but to call you a name of our own choosing?

PS - Deleting the comment doesn't change the truth.

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